Fitting in and its various meanings


I realised pretty soon after my arrival to Malaysia that fitting into this country would be a whole different type of story than it was in the Netherlands. And that it would basically be impossible. As a foreigner I would always stand out.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I was your classical Dutch looking person either. But the funny thing was, in the Netherlands, if I would be surrounded by locals and seem to know my way about, I could pass as one of the many well integrated foreigners living there.

Malaysia is completely different. If I hang around with locals, it's like my whiteness becomes even more obvious, and people stare even more...because what kind of locals would hang out with foreigners? Or the other way around. And whereas most of the days I don't mind the staring, sometimes you just don't feel like it!

Such a day was yesterday. It was a public holiday, and I did not feel like going anywhere - I was tired and I just felt like having a me, myself and I day. Now, what that would normally mean in my past life, would be going around the city, having good coffee in a small cafe while reading, wondering aimlessly through the streets window shopping (sometimes actually shopping), spending at least one hour in the bookshop sifting through books, taking time to think and even write.
The above described activities are kind of impossible to pursue in most cities in MAlaysia (so far only Melaka seemed like somewhere where I could do all that) and definitely not in Putrajaya. For various reasons. Firstly, it's just to hot to wander aimlessly on the streets - to have the motivation and walk through the day you must be having a strong purpose in life! Secondly, there are no small cafes and shops. It's all been replaced by the "wonderful" culture of capitalism at its best...namely malls!
But I figured...what the hell, let's integrate! So I did what any proper Malaysian will do and I headed to the mall! :)

Needless to say, my experience was not what I had aimed it to be. One of the reasons why I enjoyed having the type of alone day in the Netherlands was the feeling of anonymity. I enjoyed not knowing anyone (except maybe my coffee provider), making small talk at times with strangers, and just feeling like I am a bit lost or without target. In the mall, I did not feel anonymous at all. Because as in any other place here, people would be staring. On top of that, unlike nice streets and small cafes, malls are really crowded! Which also did not suit my mood of relaxing, enjoying and wandering.
I am however proud of myself because I did not give up! I rallied and went through various shops, trying to make my experience as enjoyable as possible! My greatest achievement was that I found a really proper bookstore in Putrajaya - very expensive (books in Malaysia are ridiculously expensive!) but at least I know I can do as much book sifting as I want!

On the bright side of things, I did have a vague feeling of belonging yesterday. Against all odds, I met by coincidence one of my students at the mall. It's amazing how that makes you feel...finally, after being somewhere completely foreign, you know enough people that you can actually bump into someone!! :)
Next, my Indian at the place where I get food was super chatty and we had a nice pleasant conversation about "why do I come here to teach??". I was very surprised that he actually knew where Romania was...of course, because of Hagi :)
And last but not least, today at the launderette (where I am writing this from, as I still do not have internet at home), a lady just came to me and started talking and telling me she heard I am interested in doing zumba :)) I had told that to some of my ladies in class, and I did know that I was famous in the neighbourhood, but the sudden offer to be taken and brought from the training by a random stranger came as a total (and pleasant) surprise :)