This morning I experienced a new event in my life...namely, I went for the first time to a zumba class in my community!
Now, why I stress the my community part, is because I live and teach in a full Malay community, which means everybody around me is Muslim. So I was super curious to see how a zumba class would look in such an environment (for those of you who are newer to zumba life, it involves quite sexy moves at times, lots of bum and belly shaking, and the lyrics of the songs are not the most appropriate ones you could imagine).
I anticipated correctly...it was super interesting! I had to wake up at 7am since that is the only time exercise can be bore in this hot hot hot country. Obviously all the women were dressed in long pants and long sleeves and were wearing the hijab - Respect for the jumping they did in so many layers!! I was very pleasantly surprised that there was a man there also...he seemed to be enjoying himself very well and of course, he was made to sit in the front (so he would not see anything should the t-shirt of a woman go up or something).
What I did not anticipate is how I would feel in the situation. Normally, zumba (and any type of exercise for that matter) is a place to let go, get rid of all stress and sweat it all out, without thinking too much about anything else. However, today, the letting go part was completely impossible. See...everyone was looking at me! Because I was white, and obviously non-Muslim, and hence special and to be studied. Moreover, the zumba here was way less curvy than what it is in Europe (they shake their bums way less...probably no surprise there! :)). However, I am used to the shaking of the bum, so I all of a sudden felt very restricted in my movements and possibilities.
Don't get me wrong, overall it was a definitely positive experience, but as with everything else, expectations need to be adjusted. It did however get connected to something else I recently realised. During my recent traveling I was very surprised when in Langkawi (island in the North and our first stop after KL) I felt a sense of freedom. Of no boundaries and no judgement. It surprised me because I had not been conscious of it before. I guess without completely realising it, I do feel constraints in my community - in the way I dress, the things I talk about, the way I am perceived. Only going somewhere else though, did I become aware that they actually affect me.